For Once


It’s a gloomy Friday night.

Some are still at work, extending their work shift; some are having drinks, catching up with an old friend.

Some are already asleep, alone or with their loved ones.

I am on of those who are on their way home, struggling against the traffic in the metro.

As I listen to music, I look back the past three decades of my life.

I have always been trying to be strong, for myself, for my loved ones, for my friends, for my family.

Majority see me as someone with “strong personality”, “alpha female”, “tough”, “intimidating”, “can kick your *ss off”

But I realized that…

For once, I want to be taken cared of, rather than taking care of someone/others

For once, I want to feel loved, instead of just loving someone/othes

For once, I want to be fed, rather than feed others

For once I want to be asked how am I, instead waiting for others to respond to my similar question

For once, I want to be loved the way I love others

For once, I want to get the attention that I was never getting or the attention I try to give to others

For once, I want be held in your arms, rather than me giving my warm hug to others to keep them warm

For once, I want to feel than I am wanted, rather than me wanting them.

For once, I want to be selfish, and just think about myself.

For once I want to be vulnerable, soft, gentle, cry baby, defenseless

For once I want to be myself.

For once.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s