It took a while before I finally gather myself back, smoothen rough ends, regain my composure. Although I admit that I still cry at night and feel bad about myself because of what had happened, but slowly I’m seeing the light once again. My friends have helped me get back to my feet, the books that I have read give me additional knowledge on how to live life and accept what life brings, running and yoga allowed me to be more “intimate with myself”.
I am currently reading Kafka in the Shore by Haruki Murakami and this lines moved me:
“And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm is all about.”
I have spent more than 11 years of my life in unsuccessful relationships. I really feel bad about it but it shouldn’t stop me from being positive and hopeful about my future. I still strongly believe that I will have four children and will say “I do” to the man who will love me unconditionally. As one 90’s song says: “Don’t stop looking for love, it can be found in the strangest places”